List (depressing and self-indulgent)

New hopes.
New doubts.
Still-young-enough.
Past-my-prime.
I'm great.
I'm lame.
Mothering.
Smothering.
Unmotherly.
Unlovely.
Too soft.
Too hardened.
(too judgemental and way too cynical)
Ripe for a break-down.
On the cusp of something potentially great.
Fear of failure.
Bigger fear of success.
Stagnant.
Stanky.
In-a-rut.
In-the-mire.
Hopeless.
Afraid of new hope.
Too heartbreaking.
but heart is already broke.
Too broken?
I'm pretty lucky
so why do I feel so fucked?

Unproductive.
Unreproductive.
Empty.
Barren.
Void.
Useless.
Invisible.
Repellent.
.